studying abroad

I woke-up this morning to the news that a fellow Hamline-ite studying in Trier, Germany took his own life Sunday morning.

I'm quite shaken and although I wasn't extraordinarily close to him, I consider him a friend... especially since I've known him as a fellow Manor resident, a fellow English major, another survivor of Alice Moorhead's Literary Theory class, a good friend of Scott and Graham, and as another student studying abroad.

I'm hearing and responding to this from my perspective as a student abroad. I don't know the details of Manney's life or his experiences in Trier. But I do know first hand the emotions of studying abroad. And that is what terrifies me right now. I remember telling Denton not so long ago that although studying abroad has the misleading reputation of being glamorous, exciting, and constant fun fun fun... it ain't! It can be lonely, scary, and frustrating. I love my life in Scotland but still find tears in my eyes on random days when I think of the Minneapolis skyline or know I'm missing my free ice cream cone at Ben and Jerry's or can't get over how empty my hand feels without Denton's in it.

It has been a hard day... I've never felt so far away. I am trying so hard to understand. I thought Crossing Boarders was supposed to prepare us for studying abroad. I thought our weekly e-mails to each other were supposed to remind us we aren't alone. My heart goes out to Manney's family and his friends at Hamline... But also to all of us who are studying scattered across the globe.